Sunday 2 December 2012

Men are parents too!


My husband read my blog and said I wrote about the juggle of parenthood with my career as if I was a single Mum.  This and a few prompts from twitter colleagues has prompted this blog.

Why single out women in the juggle of parenthood and careers?  I answer that by saying that it is usually the women who take maternity leave & hence the break from their careers (breastfeeding is a woman’s domain despite it apparently being possible for men's nipples to be stimulated to produce milk…).  It is also usually the women who take the brunt of the childcare – going part time, and taking off time if the kids are sick.  However childcare does not have to be the woman’s domain.  I do know some couples where the man goes part time or even cares for the child(ren) full time.  In fact, my husband and I agreed that whoever got the permanent job first would be the main breadwinner, and the other would be the main child-carer.  But I found myself being unsatisfied with this thought – I wanted to do it! In the end I would rather take the hit on my career.  Is this selfish?  In fact, I suspect that of some of the (few!) couples I know where the man is the main child-carer, the woman would rather at least share the childcare if not be the main child-carer rather than the breadwinner.  I’m sure this is not always the case though!  So for me, we were lucky – my husband got a permanent lectureship which meant (a) we had the security of a permanent income to have a family and (b) I got my way being the main carer for our children.

Is this fair?  Are there a lot of Dad’s out there who would like to be the main carers?  I know a full time Dad who wouldn't want it any other way (I’m not sure how his wife feels about this, but there may not be another option financially for some).  It is more difficult for men – the laws do not let men take more than 2 weeks paternity leave* (and in fact in the university where my husband works the men only got statutory pay i.e. severely reduced pay for those two weeks, whereas women get a few months at full pay – how is that fair? My husband took leave instead of paternity leave but still had all the work to do when he came back – delayed stress).  There is a definite need for the laws to change (aka Germany/Sweden/Norway) so that maternity leave can be divided equally between parents, and there needs to be a stronger culture of encouraging more flexible working. I would be interested to find out what difference this legislation has had on women being retained in science (or elsewhere) in countries like Sweden and Norway - do they have better female representation because of this?  You'd hope so!  I would be happy to share childcare equally with my husband – say both working 4 days a week rather than me working 3 days a week and him full time).

And to plug my husband’s efforts – I am lucky to have a very supportive husband who will look after the girls at weekends when I need to work, or take time off to look after the girls when I have meetings on my non-working days when the girls aren't in nursery.  (At which point I should also plug my mother-in-law who comes to look after the girls at the drop of the hat when my husband can’t take the time off – especially when I have overseas meetings to go to). And as to single parents… I have no idea how you do it!

*Addendum: apparently men can take up to 26 weeks additional paternity leave if the child's mother has returned to work (in the UK) - though as it was pointed out by a friend who discussed this option with their partner, if he had gone for this option it would have been to the sacrifice of his career - 'laughed out of the building' was the expression she used :(  It would be interesting to hear from any men who have taken this option... encourage others & a new culture?

Monday 26 November 2012

Parenthood versus career?


The SpotOn conference focused my thoughts on parenthood and trying to juggle a career, which has to be one of the main reasons for the lack of women in science as you scale the career ladder.  It’s the same in any field, I've had many a discussion with non-scientist friends on the difficulties of balancing career & parenthood (not always women!).  I actually think that I am very lucky to have a flexible career where I can work part time flexible working hours & flexible location – one of the benefits of an academic career. By contrast, a close friend also has two little girls, her employers won’t let her work less than a 4 day week, and she has to commute into London by train.  She is only allowed to take a limited small number of days off to look after her girls when they are ill, which is difficult in the early days when they are beset by bug after bug.  So I feel lucky.

The downside is that an academic job is not limited 9-5, there is a limitless amount of work to do to keep up in academia, so it’s the norm, and it’s expected to put in a lot of extra hours.  As a working parent this makes keeping up with your colleagues really difficult, especially in the early days of parenthood with bugs galore, sleepless nights, and just plain exhaustion.  And when you don’t have ‘tenure’ in American speak, you are trying to compete against fellow scientists who don’t have those constraints & can put in a lot more hours. Personally, I really feel this.  I could work full time, but I want to see my girls grow up and be involved in their lives especially in these pre-school years, so I choose to work part time.  So my choice, my hit?  This choice does make me feel like I am drowning in my academic career, struggling to balance data analysis & paper writing with writing grants to provide me with my next post-doc.  Plus all the other commitments – all the European project meetings, associated reports, etc. (why are European projects so bureaucratic?), other reports, paper reviews, helping students, etc. etc. (blogs?!). At times I have reached near rock bottom and wondered if this career I’d worked so hard to get was worth fighting so hard for. I continuously consider giving up on my fight for my academic career.  I suspect I am not alone.  This must be one the most significant contributing factors into the lack of women in science at higher levels.  In the end for me, my love of science is winning out so far, and everyone says it does get easier as the kids get older.

However, things are getting easier for women in academia.  I have been very lucky in my choice of ‘bosses’.  In my first post-doc, I worked with a female academic with kids. She was incredibly supportive when 6 months into my post-doc I moved to the other end of the country when my husband got a lectureship (she let me work remotely).  And she was also very supportive when a year later I went off on maternity leave!  Women like her, who are successful academics having juggled a family, are an inspiration to women like me – she makes me feel like it’s possible.  We need women high up in academia (and science) to inspire us and make us think that it is possible to be a successful woman & parent.

My current boss is not female, but is a parent, and an advocate of the Athena Swan charter.  The University of Exeter is a member of the Athena Swan charter which is in place to advance the representation of women in science, engineering and technology.  To encourage this, my new boss (& hence the university) are keen to support part-time flexible working – I work 3 days a week, and since I live a 2 hour commute from the campus work flexibly between home and the campus.  This makes a huge difference – of course it’s still a struggle to get all the work done I need to to progress my career, but a flexible working environment and a supportive boss and university makes it actually possible to consider staying in academia.

Of course what is really needed for women in any career is a change in law and culture – the ability for both men and women to share maternity and paternity leave, the ability for both parents to work flexible part time hours, so that it is possible to share the ‘burden’ of childcare.

(and as a side, could academics work a bit less hard please? I don’t want to spend every spare hour I’m not with the kids working or feel like I have to sacrifice family time so I can keep my career on track. Moan over - now back to the grind ;) I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't a passion!)

...coming soon:' Equality? Applying for jobs while pregnant'

Monday 19 November 2012

Watch out - new blogger alert!

My first ever blog - well that's a lie... I did start up a research project blog a few years back which was great fun.  But this is my first ever personal blog.  It's a bit scary!

Why now? Well it's all down to a chain of events starting with a course on applying for funding which included a very inspiring talk from Ceri Lewis (@CezzaLew) who in part was extolling the joys of twitter. Where have I been?  I have definitely been 'all at sea' without twitter - it's like a little beacon of light in the darkness.  Now I can keep up to date with what is going on in science as it happens.  I have gone from being blind to twitter to being a twitter addict (helped by my newly acquired smartphone).

Twitter introduced me to a whole new world - the online world of women in science.  I am no feminist (as a friend pointed out if I'm fighting for female rights I'm a feminist) - I have never had any problems as a woman in science despite originally working in a very male dominated world of engineering (I was one of 10 girls out of 120 on my degree)*.  However, since I have had children, the difficulties of trying to keep my newly formed academic career in marine biology alive while balancing part time working and the demands of parenthood makes life very different. I really am struggling to keep an academic career on track only working 3 days a week while struggling to put in the extra hours needed. Three and one year olds are very demanding (as are academic careers)! Since I came back to work after my second daughter was born, I have definitely felt all at sea in my academic career with a severe loss of self confidence. Finding twitter and all these other women in science blogging and tweeting has made a huge difference to my self confidence.  I have been inspired by many of the talks in the SpotOn series of talks (see the Women in Science: Improving the visibility of women in science both online and offline session), and by women scientist bloggers and tweeters like Athene Donald (see her blog post 'To blog or not to blog'). I no longer feel all at sea, but part of a big community of women scientists :) Thank you!

So I decided to take the plunge and start to blog. I'm not sure how the blog will evolve, or how often I will post.  But hopefully it will resonate with others out there - male or female that are struggling to keep on the academic rollercoaster while experiencing the other rollercoaster that is parenthood.  And please pass on any tips for doing this amazing juggling act, because I could do with all the tips available - I'm not sure I'm managing it very well!

Watch this space... ;)
(and follow me on Twitter @ClareEmbling)

ps. also planning to use the blog to share fascinating science :) So watch this space even if you're not a struggling scientist & parent...

* Eleven years as an electrical and electronic engineer (degree & working in industry) and now ten years as a marine biologist (MRes, PhD & on post-doc number 2)...